Torn

Tearing open the backdrops

of the holidays, the dinners, the shopping, the presents,

all the security and love I felt as a child:

"You are worthless."

"Nothing matters more than your happiness."

"It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn't encouraged them, like a whore."

"You can reach for anything you want."

"I can take this away if you don't play my game."

"Why wouldn't you be excellent? We're both the same!"

"Prove yourself useful and I might give you praise."

"You're so clever, you get it from me."

Of course you said some of that differently.

You're clever.

And I didn't get it from you.

I was simple.

You won.

I still only root for you.

Your success.

I still only wish you well.

I still don't believe the things I've now seen.

It's still a habit to make excuses.

Thanks.

Because I treasure the person I was able to be.

I like being someone who can't help but love.

So good luck,

I really mean it.

You obviously can handle yourself.

Bye.

💌 Find part 1 here.